Let’s talk about friendship—the kind that’s seen you through bad breakups, questionable haircuts, and every season of Grey’s Anatomy. Now, let’s talk about the one thing that could tear that friendship apart faster than a scandalous text message: asking your best friend to join you and your husband in the bedroom. Whether you’re part of the swinging community or just curious, this is one line you don’t want to cross. Here’s why involving your bestie in your extracurricular activities could be the recipe for disaster—and why it’s better to keep your pineapple in the fruit bowl where it belongs.
1. The Friendship Killer: When You Cross That Line
Your best friend is your ride-or-die, the one person who knows all your secrets, including which of your exes wasn’t worth the time. But when you ask her to join you and your husband for a threesome—especially if she finds him less than appealing—you’re introducing a level of awkwardness that even the strongest friendship might not survive.
Take it from me, or better yet, take it from the countless friendships that have ended over this very scenario. My friend Lily, for example, had a close-knit group of friends from high school. They’d been inseparable for years, but when one of them suggested a “fun” night with her husband, the group dynamics were never the same. “It was so awkward,” Lily admitted. “I could never look at her husband the same way again, and our friendship just fizzled out after that.”
The truth is, once that line is crossed, there’s no going back. Your friend might say she’s okay with it, but deep down, things will never be the same. The trust and comfort you once shared could be shattered, and that’s a high price to pay for a moment of curiosity.
2. She’s Devoted to You—And Only You
Your best friend is your confidante, your partner-in-crime, and your therapist all rolled into one. She’s been there for you through thick and thin, not for your husband’s sake, but because she’s devoted to you. Involving her in your marriage in such an intimate way changes the dynamics of that devotion. Suddenly, she’s not just your best friend; she’s someone who’s shared an experience with both of you, and that can create a whole new set of complications.
Even in the swinging community, where the “pineapple” is often a symbol of open-mindedness and hospitality (yes, the upside-down pineapple is a signal for swingers), boundaries are crucial. While swinging might work for you and your spouse, bringing your best friend into the mix can blur the lines in ways that are difficult to untangle.
Think about it: When you see her after “the event,” will you be able to separate the friend from the third partner? Will she? It’s an emotional minefield, and most friendships aren’t equipped with the bomb squad needed to navigate it.
3. The “Ew” Factor: She Finds Him Revolting
Let’s be honest—if your best friend finds your husband revolting, asking her to swing with him is a disaster waiting to happen. No amount of wine or encouragement will change her feelings, and forcing the issue is only going to lead to resentment.
Remember my friend Lily? Well, her story didn’t end with just awkwardness. “I honestly couldn’t even fathom the idea,” she said, cringing at the memory. “He wasn’t my type at all, and the whole situation just made me feel gross.” That revulsion spilled over into their friendship, and what was once a tight bond became strained and eventually broke altogether.
Why risk it? There are plenty of other potential partners out there who would jump at the chance to join you and your husband—why drag your best friend into it, especially when she’s clearly not interested? Respect her feelings and keep her out of your bedroom escapades.
4. The Pineapple Community: Why Friends Don’t Belong in the Bowl
The swinging community, often symbolized by the pineapple, thrives on clear boundaries, trust, and mutual respect. But there’s a big difference between inviting a willing participant into your private life and dragging your best friend into a situation she never wanted to be a part of.
In the pineapple community, communication is key. Successful swinging relationships are built on open discussions, clear expectations, and a mutual understanding of boundaries. Bringing a best friend into the mix—especially one who isn’t on board—violates those principles. It’s like putting a sour lemon into a sweet fruit salad—it just doesn’t belong.
And let’s not forget the repercussions of being a part of the “pineapple community” when things go wrong. Swinging isn’t for everyone, and even within the community, bringing a close friend into your bedroom can have serious consequences. It’s one thing to experiment with strangers or acquaintances, but when you involve someone who’s a fundamental part of your life, you’re playing with fire.
5. The Forever Friendship: Don’t Throw It Away
Your friendship is worth more than a night of experimentation. Think about the years you’ve spent building trust, sharing secrets, and supporting each other through life’s ups and downs. Is that worth risking for one night of “fun”?
Real-life friendships have ended over less. A story from Psychology Today highlights a woman who lost her best friend after they attempted a threesome with the woman’s husband. What was supposed to be an adventure turned into a nightmare, leaving both women hurt, betrayed, and estranged. Their friendship, which had lasted over a decade, was never the same .
Friendships like these are rare and precious. They’re the relationships that get you through life’s toughest moments. Why jeopardize that for something so fleeting?
The Bottom Line: Keep Your Best Friend Out of the Bedroom
At the end of the day, your best friend is someone who should remain separate from your marriage and your sex life. No matter how adventurous you and your husband may be, your friendship with her is a different kind of relationship—one that deserves its own boundaries and respect.
Swinging can be a healthy, consensual way for couples to explore their sexuality, but it’s not something that should ever involve your best friend. The risk to your friendship is simply too high. Keep your best friend in the best friend zone, and cherish the unique bond you share without complicating it with your bedroom activities.
In the world of pineapples, boundaries are key. Don’t let curiosity or a moment of excitement destroy what could be a lifelong friendship. Remember, some lines are never meant to be crossed, and involving your best friend in your intimate life is one of them.
References:
- Nelson, Tammy. The New Monogamy: Redefining Your Relationship After Infidelity. Sounds True, 2013.
- Perel, Esther. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence. HarperCollins, 2006.
- Brotto, Lori A., et al. “Mindfulness-Based Sex Therapy Improves Genital-Subjective Arousal Concordance in Women with Sexual Desire/Arousal Difficulties.” Archives of Sexual Behavior, vol. 45, no. 8, 2016, pp. 1907-1921.
- Psychology Today. “When Threesomes Ruin Friendships: Why You Should Never Mix Friends and Sex.” Psychology Today, 2020.
- Finkel, Eli J., et al. The All-Or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work. Dutton, 2017.
About the author
In the realm of literature, few authors possess the power to challenge societal norms and break down stereotypes like A.L. Childers. Through her unique storytelling abilities, she has managed to leave a lasting legacy that has not only inspired her readers but also transformed the way we perceive the world.
A.L. Childers’ journey from poverty to success serves as a testament to the transformative power of writing. By overcoming adversity through her craft, she has become a beacon of hope for those facing similar challenges. Her ability to draw inspiration from small-town life has given her a unique perspective on writing, allowing her to create stories that resonate with readers from all walks of life.
Childers’ story is one of triumph over adversity. Raised in poverty, she faced numerous challenges that could have hindered her dreams. However, she discovered solace in writing, using it as a means to overcome her circumstances. By sharing her personal journey, Childers inspires others to rise above their own obstacles and unlock their true potential.
Writing, for Childers, is a powerful tool for connection. She explores human relationships in literature and delves into the intricacies of human emotions and experiences. Her stories serve as a bridge, connecting people from different walks of life, fostering empathy, and promoting understanding. In a world that often feels fragmented, Childers’ writing reminds us of our shared humanity.
A.L. Childers’ impact on breaking stereotypes through storytelling is a testament to her exceptional talent and unwavering dedication to her craft. Through her journey from poverty to success, her unique perspective on small-town life, her exploration of human relationships, her journey toward self-expression, and her ability to challenge societal norms, she has left an indelible mark on the literary world. Her work serves as an inspiration for aspiring writers, a source of connection for readers, and a catalyst for change in society. A.L. Childers’ legacy will continue to shape the future of literature, reminding us of the power of storytelling to break down barriers and create a more inclusive world.
Brilliantly written, startling, truthful, and utterly original. This is A.L. Childers at her absolute best. She sets an exciting new level of awareness for humanity. Unforgettable books that help you find that lost piece of yourself.
Being Human doesn’t make you weak, it makes you a warrior!
A.L. Childers
Food is thy medicine, right? Actually it can work one of two ways. Food can be thy medicine or food can be thy death. This book is a guide that will inform you from the perspective of a women. You will also be able to determine what areas in your life that may need a little bit of work and the skills needed to improve those issues along with some fabulous recipes to help get you started on how to eat KETO AIP. I will also help you understand how to fix your gut, strengthen your immunity and fight inflammation with an autoimmune approach. The Keto AIP removes all the common inflammatory food triggers that stimulate a possible autoimmune reaction in the body. We’re going to start resetting those adrenals, boosting that energy and doing a little booty kicking to those hormones that have decided to act like a wild college student and pull an all-nighter the day before final exams.
A Women’s Holistic Holy Grail Handbook for Hypothyroidism and Hashimoto’s: How I healed my Hypothyroidism and Autoimmune Disorder with Personalized Nutrition
Food is thy medicine, right? Actually, it can work one of two ways. Food can be thy medicine or food can be thy death. This book is a guide that will inform you from the perspective of a women. You will also be able to determine what areas in your life that may need a little bit of work and the skills needed to improve those issues along with some fabulous recipes to help get you started on how to eat KETO AIP. I will also help you understand how to fix your gut, strengthen your immunity and fight inflammation with an autoimmune approach. The Keto AIP removes all the common inflammatory food triggers that stimulate a possible autoimmune reaction in the body. We’re going to start resetting those adrenals, boosting that energy and doing a little booty kicking to those hormones that have decided to act like a wild college student and pull an all-nighter the day before final exams.
Audrey Childers is a published author, blogger, freelance journalist and an entrepreneur with over a decade of experience in research and editorial writing. She is also the creator and founder of the website the hypothyroidismchick.com. Where you can find great tips on everyday living with hypothyroidism. She enjoys raising her children and being a voice for optimal human health and wellness. She is the published author of : A survivors cookbook guide to kicking hypothyroidism booty, Reset your Thyroid, The Ultimate guide to healing hypothyroidism and A survivors cookbook guide to kicking hypothyroidism booty: the slow cooker way. You can find all these books on Amazon. This blog may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this copyright statement.
Audrey Childers is a 10x published author, blogger, freelance journalist and an entrepreneur with over a decade of experience in research and editorial writing. She is also the creator and founder of the website the hypothyroidismchick.com. Where you can find great tips on everyday living with hypothyroidism. She enjoys raising her children and being a voice for optimal human health and wellness. She is the published author of : A survivors cookbook guide to kicking hypothyroidism booty, Reset your Thyroid, The Ultimate guide to healing hypothyroidism and A survivors cookbook guide to kicking hypothyroidism booty: the slow cooker way. You can find all these books on Amazon. This blog may be re-posted freely with proper attribution, author bio, and this copyright statement.
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