If marriage had a mattress policy, ours would be “separate beds, shared germs (with negotiation).” My husband, a thrift store champion and unapologetic treasure hunter, recently brought home his latest score: a well-loved, aggressively green 1980s hunting mat. And by “well-loved,” I mean the thing looks like it’s survived more deer seasons than most hunters.

He wants to sleep on it, maybe even nap on it right there on our couch. (Yes, our couch—the one the dogs think is their throne and I secretly call “the last clean thing in the house.”) I want to wash it. He thinks I’m being dramatic. So, who’s right?

His Point of View: “It’s Fine! You’re Overreacting.”

• “People used this outside. It’s supposed to get dirty.”
• “Washing it will ruin the feel! That’s history in there.”
• “It’s just a mat. It’s not like I’m eating off of it.”
• “Thrifted stuff has character. You can’t wash off character.”
• “If I survived the 1980s, so did this mat.”

My Point of View: “We Don’t Need to Invite Every Microbe Home for Dinner.”

Let’s be real. Thrift store finds are fun—until they bring home new roommates. The CDC recommends cleaning and sanitizing all secondhand items, especially those that have been exposed to the elements or prolonged use by strangers. (Source: CDC, “Household Cleaning and Sanitizing”)

Here’s why a wash is non-negotiable in my house:

• Mats can harbor bacteria, fungi, dust mites, and… other things. (Let’s not get into the specifics of “other.”)
• Pets and people have allergies, and old mats are dust traps. No one wants Fido sneezing all over your face at 2AM.
• It’s been who knows where. Even Indiana Jones would pause before napping on this thing.
• Mold and mildew love old foam and fabric. Once those spores are inside, your house can smell like an abandoned summer camp.
• Nobody wants to catch “couch cooties.” (Okay, not a real medical term, but you get the point.)

Resources for My Case:

• CDC: How to Clean and Disinfect Secondhand Items
• Good Housekeeping: How to Clean Thrift Store Finds
• Consumer Reports: Cleaning Secondhand Furniture

Why Won’t He Just Use It on His Bed?

The eternal mystery. Maybe the mat is “too special” for solo use, or maybe he wants to share the retro charm (and mystery stains) with the rest of the household. Or, maybe, it’s just more fun to push my boundaries and watch me wage war with the spray bottle.

Either way, my stance is clear: If you love it, clean it. Or at least let me clean it before the dogs adopt it as their new germ palace.

Final Thoughts (and a Hot Take for the Road)

Look, I love my husband’s thrifty ways. I love his sense of adventure and his “it’ll be fine!” attitude. But when it comes to things that are green, squishy, and older than our relationship, I’d rather err on the side of hygiene.

To the green ugly mattress: May you rest in pieces—in the washing machine, and not on my couch.

If you’re reading this and silently screaming, “Girl, I feel you!”—drop your favorite cleaning hack in the comments. Or just tell me: would you let your spouse keep this thing unwashed, or am I right to fight the good fight for fresh, clean furniture? Let’s unite against mysterious mat microbes, one thrifted treasure at a time.

Please if you think I am overcreating, tell me! share!

A.L. Childers
Published Author, Advocate, and Your Partner in Thyroid Health

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