Why Can’t We Talk About Vaccines? A Heartfelt Letter from a Gen X Parent

By A.L. Childers

I never thought the hardest conversation I’d have with my grown kids would be about something as basic as keeping their children healthy. But here we are: two generations, one family, and a wall of silence when it comes to vaccines.

If you’re a Gen Xer, you probably get it. We grew up in a world where life was simple, less medicalized, and—let’s be honest—a little rough around the edges. We rode bikes without helmets, drank from garden hoses, and survived chickenpox parties. We had a handful of vaccines, most of which were given at school or at the local clinic. And guess what? We’re still here. We’re doing fine. Maybe even better than fine.

The New Reality: Why So Many Shots?

Today, I watch my adult children march dutifully into pediatric offices with their little ones, clutching vaccine schedules that seem to grow every year. By age five, today’s kids can receive more than 72 doses of vaccines—an unimaginable number in our Gen X childhood.

And yet, when I gently ask, “Do you know what’s in those shots?” or “Have you read the insert?”—the reaction is swift and often angry. Suddenly, I’m not the wise parent who raised them to think for themselves, but a danger to their children. It hurts.

Why Is This Conversation So Hard?

1. Fear and Trust

Our kids trust the system in a way we never did. They believe the pediatrician is always right. They want to protect their babies from scary headlines and rare diseases—who wouldn’t? But when did questioning become forbidden?

2. Generational Gaslighting

We’re told, “But things have changed. There are new diseases. You don’t understand.” But what about all the new allergies, chronic illnesses, and neurological issues that seem to be everywhere? Did we really trade mumps for a lifetime prescription?

3. Medical Shaming

Bringing up vaccine safety is almost taboo. You get labeled as “anti-vax” (even if you’re not), as if caring about long-term effects is a crime. It’s not. It’s called being a concerned parent—and grandparent.

Gen X: The “Last Free-Range Generation”

We were allowed to make mistakes, fall down, and get back up. Our immune systems were forged in the dirt and sweat of everyday life. And yes, we had vaccines—but not the overwhelming, ever-growing list kids face today.

So why are our concerns dismissed? Why is there no room for respectful debate?

If You’re a Gen X Parent Who Feels Silenced, You’re Not Alone

Here’s what I want my kids (and maybe yours) to know:

• I love you and your children more than words can say.
• My questions don’t come from a place of judgment, but from wisdom, concern, and experience.
• I wish you would listen—not just to me, but to parents and doctors who see the growing issues nobody wants to talk about.

What Can We Do?

• Keep the Door Open: Even if your kids don’t want to hear it right now, leave the door open for honest conversations in the future.
• Share Stories, Not Shame: Talk about your own childhood. Ask about theirs. Bridge the gap with love, not lectures.
• Offer Resources Gently: If they’re ever ready, point them toward research, documentaries, and independent doctors who explore both the benefits and risks.

Helpful Resources:

• Children’s Health Defense
• The Highwire with Del Bigtree
• National Vaccine Information Center
• “Vaxxed: From Cover-Up to Catastrophe” Documentary

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A Final Word

If you’re struggling to connect with your adult children about vaccines, know this: your voice matters, even when it shakes. Don’t let heartbreak or family friction silence your concern. The world may have changed, but your love—and your wisdom—are timeless.

One day, maybe your grandkids will thank you for asking the hard questions, for standing up, and for never giving up on the truth.

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With love, hope, and the courage to keep talking—
A fellow Gen Xer,
A.L. Childers