By A.L. Childers
A hilariously chaotic deep dive into why you can have “perfect labs” and still feel like your metabolism is running on two AA batteries. A warm, sarcastic, empowering thyroid blog by bestselling author A.L. Childers.
Welcome back to the Hypothyroid Circus. Part 2.
If you’re reading this, it means one of the following is true:
- Your thyroid labs came back “normal,” but you still feel like you’ve been hit by a tranquilizer dart.
- You’ve gained three pounds from breathing near a waffle.
- You’re exhausted, puffy, irritable, and confused — but your doctor says you’re “fine.”
- You needed answers… or validation… or chaos… and here you are.
Either way:
Sit down. Hydrate. Breathe. I’ve got you.
I’m A.L. Childers — your thyroid guide, your hormonal hype-woman, and the unofficial spokesperson for “Why Am I Like This?” Syndrome.
Let’s begin.
Your Labs Are Normal Because the System Is Not Built for Women
The medical establishment still treats hypothyroidism like it’s 1958.
Back when:
- doctors smoked in your exam room
- Women were called “hysterical”
- and TSH was considered the holy grail
Meanwhile, your body is performing an entire opera of symptoms:
- heart palpitations
- insomnia
- anxiety
- depression
- cold hands
- weight gain
- constipation
- hair loss
- brain fog so thick you forget your own ZIP code
But medical professionals look you dead in the face and say:
“Your TSH is in range.”
Great.
Wonderful.
Glorious.
Can someone tell that to my metabolism, who left the chat?
Your Thyroid Isn’t Slow. It’s Held Hostage.
Hypothyroidism isn’t laziness. It’s not age. It’s not “just hormones.”
It is:
- cellular stress
- inflammation
- endocrine miscommunication
- nutrient deficiencies
- cortisol sabotage
- insulin drama
- estrogen chaos
- gut rebellion
Your thyroid doesn’t wake up one day and decide,
“You know what? I think I’ll just shut the whole system down for fun.”
It’s overwhelmed.
Like you.
Like every woman carrying a household, a job, a family, and her sanity in an old Dollar Tree tote bag.
Why You Still Can’t Lose Weight: The Sequel (aka “The Hormones Strike Back”)
Let’s review the hormonal cast of characters currently ruining your life:
Cortisol
Likes to release fat-storing signals while you’re:
- lying still
- minding your business
- trying to heal
- sleeping
- watching TV
- or doing absolutely nothing
Insulin
Stores fat.
Aggressively.
With enthusiasm.
She’s the Oprah of body fat:
“YOU get a fat cell! And YOU get a fat cell!”
Estrogen
Will sometimes help metabolism…
Sometimes ruin your entire existence.
It depends on her mood.
Progesterone
Missing.
Last seen in 2016.
Leptin
Meant to regulate appetite but got a new job ghosting you instead.
Reverse T3
The petty one.
Blocks your thyroid hormones like it’s guarding the club VIP section.
Together, they form the hormonal Avengers — but instead of saving the world, they’re stealing your energy, metabolism, and patience.
Your Doctor Thinks It’s Calories. Your Body Thinks It’s Survival Mode.
If one more medical provider says “eat less, move more,”
Your thyroid is going to spontaneously combust.
Your body isn’t hoarding weight because you’re “lazy.”
It’s storing weight because it thinks you are:
✅ cold
✅ starving
✅ stressed
✅ sick
✅ running from danger
✅ living inside a famine simulation
It’s not your fault.
Your biology is trying to save your life.
It just doesn’t understand that your biggest threat in 2025 is:
- emails
- toxic people
- corporate America
- and gluten
You’re Not Crazy — Your Hormones Are Unsupervised Toddlers
You’re forgetful?
That’s thyroid fog.
You’re emotional?
That’s hormones staging a coup.
You’re exhausted but can’t sleep?
That’s cortisol jumping on the bed.
You’re hungry after eating?
That’s leptin sending you straight to jail.
You feel swollen?
Inflammation is hosting a pool party.
None of this is in your imagination.
Your body is just currently being operated by a team of unsupervised toddlers with glitter fingers and zero remorse.
A Note to Every Woman Who Has Ever Felt Dismissed
If you’ve ever been told:
- “You’re just tired.”
- “You’re getting older.”
- “Your labs are normal.”
- “It’s anxiety.”
- “Maybe try dieting harder.”
Let me say this clearly:
You are not dramatic.
You are not imagining it.
You are not the problem.
The problem is a broken system that refuses to treat thyroid disease with nuance, depth, updated science, or empathy.
That’s why I write the way I do — with humor, sharp edges, and unapologetic truth.
Someone has to tell women the real story.
About the Author — A.L. CHILDERS
A.L. Childers is the unapologetic voice of thyroid truth — a bestselling author, researcher, storyteller, and advocate for women who have been dismissed, gaslit, ignored, or misdiagnosed.
She is known for turning complex thyroid science into relatable, hilarious content that makes women feel seen, validated, and empowered.
Her books include:
✅ Hashimoto’s Crockpot Recipes
✅ Reset Your Thyroid: 21-Day Meal Plan
✅ Fresh & Fabulous Hypothyroidism Body Balance
✅ A Women’s Holistic Holy Grail Handbook for Hypothyroidism
✅ AND bestselling fiction + historical works under A.L. Childers
Her mission is simple:
Help women understand their bodies, reclaim their health, and stop letting outdated medicine write their story for them.
Read more at TheHypothyroidismChick.com
Support her work by exploring her books — every purchase helps her continue writing life-changing truth for women everywhere.
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Disclaimer
This content is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It is not medical advice. Consult a healthcare professional for personalized care.
