Tag Archives: cats

Do Our Pets Think We’re Smart… or Just Tall? (A scientific, highly academic, absolutely serious midnight investigation.)

(A scientific, highly academic, absolutely serious midnight investigation.)

Let’s break it down.


🐶 DOGS THINK WE’RE GODS.

But also idiots.

You: drops food
Dog: “Ah yes… the clumsy giant offers tribute.”

You: pretends to throw the ball
Dog: “Brilliant. A master of deception. A trickster deity.”

You: “Sit.”
Dog: sits
Dog: “See? I trained my human well. They love giving me treats for no reason.”

Dogs literally think:

“My tall, weird-looking wolf… cannot hunt, cannot smell, cannot run.
But she opens the magic fridge and controls the weather box.
She is powerful.”


😾 CATS THINK WE’RE STAFF.

Cats watch us like:

“Well.
The big hairless one is struggling again.
Imagine not knowing how to clean yourself with your own tongue.”

You open a can of food?
Cat: “Impressive, servant. Continue.”

You leave a room and close the door?
Cat: “XENOPHOBIC.”

Fall down the stairs?
Cat: “Gravity has chosen violence… and honestly? You deserved it.”

Cats don’t think we’re tall OR smart.
They think:

“You exist to open doors and worship me.
Your height? Irrelevant.
Your intelligence? Unconfirmed.”


🐹 Small pets think we’re skyscrapers with moods.

Hamsters:
“Oh look, the giant is back.
Is it feeding time?
Or am I about to be moved to a different tiny prison??
No way to tell.”

Guinea pigs:
“Yes, tall one, bring me my ceremonial vegetable triangle.”

Birds:
“You’re tall and loud. I’m small and loud. We are equals.”


🐍 Snakes?

They don’t care if you’re tall.
They don’t care if you’re smart.
They don’t care if you exist.

You’re basically a mobile heating rock with snacks.


🧠 BUT DO PETS THINK WE’RE INTELLIGENT?

Here’s the truth:

✔ Dogs think we’re smart

(because we do magic like turn water on and say “car ride.”)

✔ Cats think we’re stupid

(because we can’t land on our feet or see in the dark.)

✔ Small pets think we’re large emotional objects

(in charge of food distribution and unpredictable foot placement.)

✔ Birds think we’re badly feathered roommates

(who talk too slow.)

✔ Reptiles think nothing

(they run on pure dinosaur vibes.)


😂 THE REAL ANSWER?

Pets don’t think we’re smart.
They think we’re functional.

We are:

  • the opener of bags
  • the drawer of baths
  • the refiller of bowls
  • the walker of leashes
  • the payer of bills
  • the taller creature who can reach the good snacks

And honestly?

That’s probably accurate.

Reconsidering the Black Cat: Guardians of Good Fortune

Reconsidering the Black Cat: Guardians of Good Fortune

By A.L. Childers

When it comes to superstitions, few are as enduring or widespread as the belief that a black cat crossing your path brings bad luck. For centuries, these sleek, mysterious creatures have been associated with witches, omens, and misfortune. But have we ever stopped to consider the possibility that these black cats might not be harbingers of doom, but rather guardians, warning us to take another path?

The Origins of the Superstition

The notion that black cats are unlucky dates back to medieval Europe, where they were often linked to witches and the supernatural. In the Middle Ages, it was believed that witches could transform into black cats, making them a symbol of witchcraft and dark magic. This association was so strong that during the witch hunts, many black cats were killed alongside those accused of witchcraft.

Despite these dark associations, in some cultures, black cats have been seen as symbols of good fortune. For instance, in ancient Egypt, black cats were revered and often worshipped. In Japanese folklore, a black cat crossing your path is considered good luck.

A New Perspective

What if we flipped the narrative on its head? Instead of seeing a black cat crossing our path as a sign of impending bad luck, what if we viewed it as a warning or a message to reconsider our current course?

Consider this: black cats are known for their keen senses and agility. They are often more in tune with their surroundings than we are. Perhaps, when a black cat crosses our path, it is sensing something that we cannot. It might be alerting us to a danger ahead, urging us to take a moment to rethink our next steps.

The Power of Intuition

Intuition is a powerful yet often underestimated tool. Animals, including cats, rely heavily on their instincts to navigate the world. They sense danger, detect changes in their environment, and react accordingly. When a black cat crosses your path, it could be tapping into this intuitive knowledge, sending you a subtle signal to be more aware of your surroundings and decisions.

Embracing the Black Cat

Rather than shunning black cats or viewing them with suspicion, we should embrace their presence and consider the potential messages they bring. Here are a few ways to shift your perspective:

  1. Pause and Reflect: If you encounter a black cat, take a moment to pause and reflect on your current situation. Is there something you might be overlooking? Is there a decision you need to reconsider?
  2. Trust Your Instincts: Just as the black cat relies on its instincts, so should you. Trust your gut feelings and pay attention to any subtle signs or warnings from your environment.
  3. Honor the Messenger: Acknowledge the black cat as a potential guardian rather than a bearer of bad luck. Thank it for its presence and the reminder to stay mindful.

Conclusion

It’s time to reframe our understanding of black cats and the superstitions that surround them. Instead of viewing them as symbols of bad luck, let’s see them as wise guardians, warning us to reconsider our paths and decisions. By embracing this new perspective, we can transform an age-old superstition into a source of wisdom and guidance.

So the next time a black cat crosses your path, don’t be quick to blame it for any misfortune. Instead, take it as a gentle nudge from the universe to stop, look around, and maybe even choose a different direction.


By changing our perception, we not only honor these beautiful creatures but also open ourselves up to a more intuitive and mindful way of living. And who knows? That black cat might just lead you to the good fortune you never expected.