Tag Archives: funny romance opening

I Didn’t Mean to Fall for Him—But the Universe Apparently Has Zero Respect for My Boundaries

Leave a reply

(A Modern Romance That Starts With Coffee, Chaos, and a Mild Identity Crisis)

Contrary to popular belief, women don’t “fall in love.”
We trip violently, hit seven emotional obstacles, and end up face-down in a romantic situation we didn’t authorize.

That’s how I met him.

Well—technically I didn’t meet him.
He collided into me, spilled my coffee, apologized with a smile so illegal it should require a permit, and then had the audacity—the AUDACITY—to smell good.

I’m talking good good.
The kind of good that rewires your amygdala and makes you question if pheromones are actually black magic.

I didn’t even get his name.
All I knew was:

  1. He had dimples
  2. He had empathy
  3. He had forearms
  4. The universe is messy, rude, and clearly bored

Because I had JUST told myself:
“No more men until I achieve inner peace.”

But inner peace is hard to achieve when the universe drops a 6’2” emotionally aware man with a jawline carved by artisans directly into your path like a celestial prank.

My love life used to be predictable. Now it’s run by chaos.

For the record, I wasn’t looking for love.
I was looking for caffeine, sanity, and maybe a gluten-free muffin that didn’t taste like drywall.

Instead, I got… HIM.

He kept showing up.
Everywhere.

At the grocery store.
At the gym.
At the park where I pretend to jog but actually walk with purpose.

At one point, I genuinely wondered if he was stalking me or if the universe was playing cosmic Tinder.

Turns out, it was neither.

He simply lived three blocks away, woke up early, and had better time management than I did.

The worst part? He was kind. I wasn’t prepared for that.

Not nice.
Kind.

Kind is dangerous.
Kind is intimate.
Kind is how women end up emotionally attached against their will.

And he kept doing things like holding doors, remembering conversations, offering real compliments, and asking how my day was as if he actually cared.

It’s unhinged behavior.

But the turning point?

When he said:
“I like the way your mind works.”

MY MIND.
SIR.
Don’t flirt with my brain. I have no defenses for that.

And now?
Well… falling happened.

Not gracefully.
More like “slid down an emotional staircase.”

But still.
It happened.

And the universe is somewhere smirking, saying:
“You’re welcome.”

About the Author:

A.L. Childers writes in every genre imaginable—romance, metaphysics, politics, women’s empowerment, Appalachian folklore, and health. Over 200 published titles and counting.

A.L. Childers (Audrey Childers) is a nationally emerging author known for blending humor, truth, social commentary, history, health, and metaphysics into powerful, unforgettable writing. With over 200 published books, she explores everything from government corruption to women’s empowerment, spiritual protection, thyroid health, Appalachian folklore, and the hidden mechanics of power.
Her work can be found on Amazon, TheHypothyroidismChick.com, and across social platforms where readers follow her for honesty, insight, and real-world wisdom.

A.L. Childers is the author of over 200 books spanning investigative nonfiction, history, spirituality, political analysis, women’s empowerment, and social commentary. Her writing blends deep research with lived experience, often exploring the systems that shape—and limit—ordinary lives.

Her bestselling titles include:

If you enjoyed this piece, explore Audrey’s books and blog for deeper dives into power, policy, and the people caught in between.

—

Disclaimer:

Fiction. Humor. Emotional chaos. Not real dating advice. This blog includes metaphysical commentary and personal interpretation. Not medical advice.