Tag Archives: relationships

No Parachute: What It’s Like to Be Born Without a Safety Net

Leave a reply

No Parachute: What It’s Like to Be Born Without a Safety Net
By A.L. Childers

This blog is for those of us who were born without a parachute.

For the ones who didn’t get “rescued” when life turned to hell.
Who didn’t get second chances from forgiving parents, financial bailouts from spouses, or even emotional validation from someone who gave a damn.

We didn’t inherit a support system.
We inherited survival.

When You’re Your Own Emergency Contact

There are people out there who cannot fathom making every decision without backup.
They’ve always had someone to fall back on—mom, dad, a partner, a trust fund, or even a best friend who shows up before they even say “I need you.”

But then, there are people like us.

We are the emergency contact.
We are the fallback plan.
We are the late-night problem solver, the crisis negotiator, the emotional anchor.

Even when we’re breaking, we don’t get to fall apart.

Advice from the Privileged Feels Like a Slap in the Face

“Just take a break.”
“Ask for help.”
“Start over.”

Start over… with what? With who?
When no one is waiting to catch you, every step is a calculation:
How much will this cost me—emotionally, financially, mentally?

We don’t get to “burn bridges” when we’re already stranded.
We don’t get to “cut people off” when no one was ever really there.

The world loves giving advice to people they’ll never have to live as.

The Weight of a Loveless Life Isn’t Laziness. It’s Logistics.

I’m stuck in a marriage with a man who doesn’t care.
He doesn’t ask about my day. He doesn’t see me. He doesn’t love me in the way I needed someone to love me.

And before anyone dares say, “Then why don’t you leave?”—let me stop you there.
It’s not fear that keeps women like me in place.
It’s the brutal arithmetic of life.

Bills. Kids. Health.
Who helps when you walk away?
When there’s no mother to stay with, no brother to borrow from, no family with a spare bedroom or a spare dollar—you do the math differently.

For the Ones Who Have Always Had to Figure It Out Alone

If you’ve ever sat in silence because you had no one to call…
If you’ve ever swallowed your pain because your sadness made others uncomfortable…
If you’ve ever been surrounded by people but still completely unsupported…
Then you know what it means to be born without a parachute.

You weren’t raised with emotional stability.
You weren’t taught that someone would come for you.
You were taught to endure.

And you’ve done that. Day after day.

Resources for Those Who Have Only Themselves

You’re not alone in your loneliness. Here are some real support tools—judgment-free, low-cost, and community-based:

Closing Words: We Are Not Broken—We Were Just Never Carried

People like us don’t walk around with safety nets.
We walk tightropes—every single day.
But we walk them anyway.
That’s not weakness. That’s grit.

So if no one told you lately:
You are doing the damn thing.
Without applause. Without help.
And you deserve respect for surviving what others were rescued from.

About the Author
A.L. Childers writes for the overlooked, the unheard, and the underestimated. As a woman who has spent her life without a support system, she understands the silent strength it takes to keep showing up when no one’s there to catch you. Find more of her words at TheHypothyroidismChick.com, where truth and tenderness meet.

Me in 2025: Realizing I Have No One Left to Cut Off (Because I Did the Work Early)

Leave a reply

Ah, the annual tradition of “New Year, New Me” is upon us again—complete with vision boards, juice cleanses, and the ever-popular cutting people off who no longer serve your purpose declaration.

Except this year… I sat down with my iced matcha, opened my notes app, and realized…
I have no one left to cut off.

Not a single drama magnet. Not a one-sided friendship. Not even that coworker who always “forgets” their wallet at lunch.

Why?
Because I did the emotional spring cleaning before it was trendy. I stopped hanging out with people I didn’t even like. I stopped entertaining folks who drained my energy faster than my phone on 1% with five apps running. I stopped sacrificing my peace to keep fake connections alive.

The Evolution of My Circle (Spoiler: It’s a Dot Now)

There was a time—maybe not that long ago—when my life was cluttered with folks who:

  • Only called when they needed something
  • Were allergic to accountability
  • Thought my kindness was a buffet they could feast on endlessly

But somewhere between journaling, shadow work, and rage-cleaning my contact list, I learned the difference between being kind and being a doormat. I realized that loyalty isn’t about length of time—it’s about mutual respect, energy exchange, and genuinely liking each other’s presence.

So if you’re reading this and wondering how I got here, let me give you the blueprint:

🔮 Step 1: Stop Forcing Vibes That Don’t Fit

If you have to mentally prepare yourself to hang out with someone… that’s a sign. Real ones give you peace, not pressure. You’re allowed to grow out of people, even the ones who’ve “been around forever.” Longevity doesn’t equal loyalty.

✂️ Step 2: Clean Out Your Emotional Closet

Just like that shirt you haven’t worn since 2011 but won’t throw out “just in case”—some relationships are clutter. If someone is using you like an emotional ATM or treating your presence like a convenience store, it’s time to hit delete. (Or at least mute.)

🛑 Step 3: Boundaries Are Self-Love, Not Rebellion

Saying “no” is a full sentence. And if they only loved you when you said yes, that wasn’t love—it was access. Protect your energy like it’s Beyoncé tickets. Limited. Valuable. Not for everyone.

👏 I’m Not Cold, I’m Cured

It’s not that I’m bitter. It’s not that I hate people (okay, maybe some). It’s just that in 2025, I finally gave myself permission to choose me—without guilt, without drama, without over-explaining to folks who were never listening anyway.

The goal now isn’t revenge or proving a point. It’s peace. It’s aligned friendships. It’s relationships that fill, not drain. And let me tell you—the silence is delicious.

🧠 Resources for Your Cut-Off Era (or Prevention Plan)

  • “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Glover Tawwab
    A must-read for anyone learning how to say “no” without having a full-blown anxiety spiral.
  • “The Drama of the Gifted Child” by Alice Miller
    For those of us who were taught to people-please as a form of survival. Break the cycle.
  • Therapy (yes, real therapy)
    Sites like BetterHelp or Open Path Collective offer affordable sessions for boundary-building and healing old wounds.
  • Podcasts like “The Adult Chair” or “Therapy Chat”
    Because sometimes hearing other people’s healing helps you walk through your own.

Final Thought

If your circle got smaller, don’t mourn it—celebrate it. You’re no longer available for confusion, disrespect, or lukewarm loyalty. You’re not cutting folks off out of spite—you’re cutting off access to your peace, and that’s sacred.

So here’s to the real ones. The few. The aligned. The vibe-checked.
And to you, dear reader—welcome to the soft life, where peace is protected and drama gets zero screen time.

Chapter 20: And I’m Telling You… I’m Not Going (Back)

Leave a reply

Why I won’t apologize for wanting to be hot, healthy, and whole again.

You know what I’ve finally decided?

I’m not going back.
Not to the shame.
Not to the silence.
Not to pretending I’m okay when my body is screaming that I’m not.

Yes, I may miss the days when my jeans zipped without prayer and I could survive on cereal and sarcasm. But this isn’t about nostalgia — it’s about reclamation.

There’s a version of me that existed before the exhaustion, before the puffiness, before the bloodwork that read like a warning label. She was fierce. She was vibrant. She laughed louder and walked taller. And for a while, I mourned her like a death.

But now? I see her differently.
She’s not gone.
She was buried—under hormones, survival mode, motherhood, trauma, and everyone else’s needs stacked on top of mine.

And I’m telling you right now:

I’m digging her out. And she’s coming back better.

✨ I will not apologize…

  • For wanting to feel confident in my own skin again
  • For wanting to turn heads, even if just my own in the mirror
  • For wanting my energy, my libido, and my damn waistline back
  • For saying no to burnout and yes to balance
  • For refusing to shrink my dreams while my body expands

Some people will say:

“You should just accept yourself.”
And I do.
I accept that my body is doing its best — and I’m doing mine, too.
But loving yourself doesn’t mean giving up on yourself.

I love my body enough to fight for it.
I love my future enough to want a healthy, vibrant version of me in it.
And I love myself enough to say:

I’m not settling for survival anymore. I want vitality.

💥 The comeback isn’t about going back in time.

It’s about bringing her forward — the girl who knew her worth long before the world tried to shrink it.

And I’m telling you… I’m not going.

Not back to being small, silent, or sick.

Not back to apologizing for wanting more.

Not back to dimming myself so others can shine.

This chapter? It’s my mic drop.
This book? My mixtape.
This life? My stage.

Cue the spotlight. I’m just getting started.

What Happened Next? Buckle Up, Y’all…

Leave a reply

What Happened Next? Buckle Up, Y’all…

I walked inside — not storming in like a discount reality star, just calmly, confused, and Southern polite — and asked:

“Hey, I think I was overcharged. I used my debit card, but it looks like I was charged the credit card price?”

Now let me be clear right here and now:
I’m not a Karen.
But I am a crazy Southern woman — raised with a mean-ass brother and a mama who taught me real quick that if someone raises their voice at you, they better have a reason. And this man? He had none.

Instead, he looked me dead in the face and snapped:

“It’s not my problem. If you don’t like it—get out of my store.”

Then he raised his voice — louder this time — like I was the problem:

“GET OUT OF MY STORE NOW!”

Let. This. Be. Known.
As a Southern woman, this will NOT go without reason.
I’m gonna do what we Southern women do best:

Raise hell. With receipts.

And Lord, I hate to do it, I really do — but I gotta say it straight:

This motherfucker raised his voice at me.
And ohhh hell no.
F* that.**

He didn’t even try to explain the charge. He didn’t ask what happened. He just acted like I was some rich, clueless woman who should shut up and swipe again.

No sir.

He found the wrong one.
I’m not rich.
I’m not clueless.
I work hard for my money — blood, sweat, and taxes.

And yes, if needed…

I will fight a man over principle. 💅

(Not physically, y’all… unless he swings first, in which case: we goin’ full Waffle House scramble-fest and I’m not apologizing.) 😂

Let me know if you want me to put that quote on a bold graphic like:

“I work hard for my money. I’m not rich. But I will fight a man if I have to — verbally, legally, or with a frying pan, depending on the tone.”
— A.L. Childers

The Shell station on Wilkinson blvd near the Bojangles is hoodwinking people with their money!

When Desire Fades: Understanding Hypothyroidism and the Hidden Impact on Your Libido

Leave a reply

By A.L. Childers | TheHypothyroidismChick.com

You’re Not Broken—You’re Just Out of Balance

If you’ve been wondering where your desire went… you’re not alone.

So many women with hypothyroidism feel a quiet sense of grief or guilt about the changes in their libido. You might love your partner deeply, yet feel like something within you has dimmed. The spark, the excitement, the urge—it feels miles away. And often, no one warns you this could happen.

But here’s what I want you to know:

This isn’t your fault. And more importantly, you are not broken.

The Thyroid-Libido Connection: It’s More Intimate Than You Think

Your thyroid is small, but it runs a major operation—regulating hormones, energy, metabolism, temperature, and yes… your sex drive.

When your thyroid underperforms, everything slows down, including your body’s production of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone—all key players in the libido game.

So if you’re:

  • Tired beyond belief…
  • Emotionally numb or moody…
  • Experiencing vaginal dryness…
  • Feeling disconnected from your body or sexuality…

Please know this is a common but often unspoken consequence of hypothyroidism.

It’s Not Just Physical—It’s Emotional, Too

Living with a chronic condition like hypothyroidism isn’t just a physical journey. It’s emotional, mental, and deeply personal. You might feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself—the sensual, confident, vibrant version who once felt at home in her body.

That version is still there.

She’s just waiting for healing, understanding, and a little compassion.

The Grief No One Talks About

There’s a certain type of mourning that comes with losing your libido. Especially when you still crave emotional connection but feel like you’re failing your partner, or even failing yourself.

I’ve been there. And I’ve spoken to hundreds of women who feel that same unspoken sadness. Some are too embarrassed to bring it up, others have been dismissed by doctors who reduced their concerns to “stress” or “aging.”

You deserve better answers.

Healing Begins With Awareness—and Love

The beautiful news? You can start to feel like yourself again. Maybe not overnight, but with the right tools, support, and care, that connection to your sensual self can return.

Here are some loving first steps:

  • Get your thyroid levels rechecked. Even small imbalances in T3 or T4 can cause huge shifts in libido.
  • Support your body holistically. Nutrition, sleep, and gentle movement are powerful allies.
  • Talk to your partner. Vulnerability breeds closeness—and your relationship deserves that kind of grace.
  • Seek help without shame. Whether from a doctor, a therapist, or a support group—let someone walk this journey with you.

To Every Woman Reading This: You Are Still Desirable

Even if your sex drive is quiet right now…

Even if you don’t feel like “your old self”…

Even if you’re frustrated, numb, or exhausted…

You are still worthy of love, passion, pleasure, and joy. This is just a season—and seasons change.

Final Words from My Heart to Yours

As someone who once felt disconnected from my own body, I want you to know there is hope. There is healing. And there is nothing shameful about talking openly about these deeply human experiences.

You are not alone.

Let’s start having these conversations out loud—with warmth, honesty, and zero judgment.

Because when women rise up in truth, the world heals with us.

💛 With love and light,
A.L. Childers
Author, Advocate, and Fellow Hypothyroidism Warrior
TheHypothyroidismChick.com

I Married a Grown Man, Not a Helpless Toddler: The Daily Gaslighting Chronicles

Leave a reply

Here is an ancient marital ritual that many wives know all too well. It begins with an innocent question, usually muttered while your husband rummages through the fridge like a raccoon at a campsite:

“Did you eat today?”

And then, the dreaded response:

“No. I haven’t eaten all day.”

Now, let’s pause right here. This man—this fully grown, bill-paying, video-game-playing, sometimes-too-clueless-for-his-own-good MAN—has just claimed to have suffered an entire day of starvation under my roof. And whose fault is that? Apparently, mine.

Because the moment I so much as hint that he is, in fact, an independent adult who should be aware of his own bodily needs, I get hit with:

“Why are you acting like my mother?”

Ohhh, buddy. The irony. The audacity. The sheer comedic value of this statement.

🚨 The “I Don’t Want a Mom… But I Want a Mom” Syndrome

Let’s break it down, shall we? Many men—especially those with a flair for selective amnesia—love to swear up and down that they don’t want a second mother.

👉 They don’t want to be nagged.
👉 They don’t want to be told what to do.
👉 They don’t want to be treated like a child.

And yet…

  • They expect us to remind them to eat.
  • They conveniently “forget” where we keep the peanut butter, despite living in the house for years.
  • They act confused when the laundry doesn’t magically fold itself.
  • They throw a man-sized tantrum when we remind them about basic responsibilities.

Ladies, we are trapped in the ultimate gaslighting paradox: We are expected to make sure they survive but must never, under any circumstances, acknowledge that we are doing it.

🤡 The Gaslighting Olympics: When a Grown Man Forgets He Has a Stomach

Now, when my husband pulls the classic “I haven’t eaten all day” routine, I like to respond with:

“You are a grown-ass man. You know if you’re hungry. I am not your mother. And you sure pitch a bitch fit when I act like her, so why would I monitor your food intake like you’re a 5-year-old with a Lunchable?”

And do you know what happens next? Defensiveness.
Because suddenly, I’m the bad guy for calling out the absurdity of the situation.

🙄 “I didn’t say it was your fault.”
🙄 “I was just saying I forgot.”
🙄 “Why do you always have to make a big deal out of things?”

Oh, my love. I wouldn’t have to make a big deal out of it if you didn’t act like you were stranded in the wilderness with no access to food when we have a stocked fridge, a pantry full of snacks, and a DoorDash account.

🏆 The Narcissistic Art of Weaponized Incompetence

Ah yes, let’s discuss the real villain here: Weaponized Incompetence.

This is when an otherwise capable adult suddenly becomes a bumbling fool when faced with tasks they don’t feel like doing. It’s a form of low-key narcissism that many men (not all, but ohhh too many) wield with Olympic-level skill.

Need examples? Let’s go textbook:

📖 “Drop the Ball” by Tiffany Dufu – Explores how women end up shouldering invisible labor while men act like clueless interns in their own homes.

📖 “Fair Play” by Eve Rodsky – A must-read about the unequal division of domestic work and how men miraculously “forget” to do things they don’t feel like handling.

📖 “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus” by John Gray – A classic dive into why men and women communicate so differently (AKA why your husband hears “I’m not your mom” as “Please let me baby you anyway”).

🎭 The Mona Syndrome: Living with a Man-Child

Some of us didn’t marry partners. We married Monas.
(Short for Man-Child Overwhelmingly Needy Adult.)

And you KNOW you’re dealing with a Mona when:

✔️ He gets defensive when you remind him to do basic self-care.
✔️ He acts like making a meal is an unsolvable mystery.
✔️ He throws a tantrum when you won’t play “mommy” but then says, “I don’t need a mom!”
✔️ He suddenly loses all cognitive function when it’s time to clean.

Mona is grown. Mona has a job. Mona can order a pizza.
But Mona still wants you to be his emotional and domestic support system while also pretending you’re not.

🚀 Final Thought: I Am Not Here to Mother You, Sir

At the end of the day, the message is simple:

👉 I will be your wife.
👉 I will be your partner.
👉 But I will NOT be your mother.

So the next time your husband gaslights you into thinking it’s your job to make sure he eats, I highly recommend turning to him, staring deep into his eyes, and saying:

“Did you also forget how to chew?”

Let me know how that goes. 😂

Disclaimer

The content of this blog is intended for informational and thought-provoking purposes only. While the discoveries discussed are based on current scientific findings, the interpretations, theories, and speculative discussions presented are the author’s perspectives and should not be taken as definitive scientific conclusions.

This blog explores both mainstream scientific theories and alternative viewpoints that challenge conventional narratives. Readers are encouraged to conduct their own research, engage in critical thinking, and approach all information—whether from established sources or independent researchers—with an open but discerning mind.

Furthermore, any references to historical texts, hidden knowledge, or cosmic mysteries reflect the author’s ongoing research and exploration of unconventional ideas. This blog does not claim to provide absolute truth but rather serves as a platform for curiosity, discussion, and questioning the nature of reality.

For verified scientific studies and further reading, refer to the sources cited.

A.L. Childers
Published Author, Advocate, and Your Partner in Thyroid Health

Disclaimer

The information and recipes in the blog are based on the author’s research and personal experiences. It’s for entertainment purposes. It’s only. Every attempt has been made to provide accurate, up-to-date, and reliable information. No warranties of any kind are expressed or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author does not render legal, financial, medical, or professional advice. By reading this blog, the reader agrees that under no circumstance is the author responsible for any direct or indirect loss incurred by using the information contained within this blog. Including but not limited to errors, omissions, or inaccuracies. This blog is not intended to replace what your healthcare provider has suggested.  The author is not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences from using any of the suggestions, preparations, or procedures discussed in this blog. All matters about your health should be supervised by a healthcare professional. I am not a doctor or a medical professional. This blog is designed as an educational and entertainment tool only. Please always check with your health practitioner before taking any vitamins, supplements, or herbs, as they may have side effects, especially when combined with medications, alcohol, or other vitamins or supplements.  Knowledge is power; educate yourself and find the answer to your healthcare needs. Wisdom is a beautiful thing to seek.  I hope this blog will teach and encourage you to take leaps in your life to educate yourself for a happier & healthier life. You have to take ownership of your health.

The views and services offered by Thehypothyroidismismchick.com are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical assistance but as an alternative for those seeking solutions for better health. We do not claim to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any disease but simply help you make physical and mental changes in your own body to help your body heal itself. Remember that results may vary, and if you are pregnant, nursing, taking medications, or have a severe condition, you should consult a physician or other appropriate medical professional before using any products or information on this site. Thehypothyroidisimchick.com assumes no responsibility for the use or misuse of this material. Your use of this website indicates your agreement to these terms. Our full disclosure, terms of use, and privacy policy.

The information on this site is not intended or implied to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. All content, including text, graphics, images, and information on or available through this website, is for general information purposes only. Opinions expressed here are the opinions of the writer. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking medical treatment because of something you have read or accessed through this website.

This site is designed for educational purposes only and is not engaged in rendering medical advice, legal advice, or professional services. If you feel that you have a medical problem, you should seek the advice of your physician or health care practitioner. For additional information, please see our full disclosure, terms of use, and privacy policy.

Our full disclosure, terms of use, and privacy policy. | thehypothyroidismchick

Good Girls Finish Last: Lessons in Love, Loss, and Self-Worth

Leave a reply

We’ve all heard the saying: “Good girls finish last.” It’s a phrase that stings with truth for anyone who’s given their all to a relationship, only to feel undervalued and overlooked. Queen Naija’s heartfelt song “Good Girls Finish Last” resonates deeply with those who’ve tried to love someone who couldn’t reciprocate.

But this isn’t just a story about heartbreak—it’s a lesson in self-worth, boundaries, and the strength it takes to let go. Let’s dive into the empowering truths behind this anthem and what it teaches us about reclaiming our power.

1. Love Can’t Fix Everything
“No matter what I change, it’s clear I could never change your mind.”
How many of us have fallen into the trap of believing that if we love harder, give more, or change who we are, it will somehow make the other person see our worth?

The truth is, love alone can’t heal a relationship where respect, commitment, and effort are one-sided. You can’t convince someone to choose you—it’s a choice they have to make willingly.

2. Walking Away is an Act of Courage
“I know it’s gonna hurt for a while when you’re not here, but it’ll hurt me more to stay.”
Staying in a relationship where your needs are unmet often feels easier than facing the pain of leaving. But Queen Naija reminds us that the greater pain comes from staying in a space where you’re undervalued.

Walking away doesn’t mean you’ve failed; it means you’ve chosen yourself. It’s a brave declaration that your peace, joy, and self-worth matter more than someone’s inability to commit.

3. You Are Already Enough
“Have you ever felt like it all wasn’t good enough, and now you’re tired of trying to prove your love?”
For generations, women have been told to endure, to compromise, to prove their love through sacrifice. But at what cost?

The idea that you’re not “good enough” isn’t a reflection of your worth; it’s a reflection of someone else’s inability to see it. You don’t need to prove your value to anyone who can’t appreciate it.

4. “Fed Up” is a Turning Point
The line “Let me hear you say, ‘Fed up!’” isn’t just a lyric—it’s a rallying cry. Being fed up isn’t about bitterness; it’s about boundaries. It’s the moment you decide that you deserve more than half-hearted love and empty promises.

When you’re fed up, you’re ready to reclaim your narrative. You’re no longer waiting for someone else to define your happiness.

5. Their Realization Doesn’t Define You
“Maybe you’ll know once I’m gone.”
Sometimes, it takes losing you for someone to realize your value—but by then, it might be too late. Here’s the thing: their awakening isn’t your responsibility.

Your worth isn’t defined by their regret. It’s defined by your ability to stand tall, love yourself, and move forward.

A Message for the Good Girls
Queen Naija’s “Good Girls Finish Last” isn’t just a song—it’s a reminder that heartbreak can lead to empowerment. It’s okay to cry, to grieve, and to feel the weight of what you’ve lost. But it’s also okay to walk away, to demand better, and to choose yourself.

If you’ve ever felt like you’ve given everything only to be left empty, know this: you are not alone. You are worthy of a love that matches your energy, your kindness, and your strength.

Closing Thoughts
Sometimes, finishing “last” is the start of a new race—one where you set the rules, prioritize your peace, and embrace the love you deserve.

Let this be your reminder: you’re not finishing last. You’re starting fresh.

Have you been through a similar journey? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your story. And if you’re ready for more inspiration, stay tuned for my upcoming book, Good Girls Finish First: Lessons in Love, Loss, and Finding Yourself.

Trapped in a Cycle: The Gaslighting Behind Sales Failures and How Companies Profit Off It

Leave a reply

The Illusion of Sales Accountability

Ever been told by your employer, “You’re just not making the sales because you’re not working hard enough”? Yet, no matter how many hours you put in, the numbers never seem to add up. This isn’t your fault—it’s the result of a toxic sales culture that thrives on gaslighting and exploiting its employees.

Salespeople are often led to believe that their failure to hit numbers is due to their own shortcomings. However, behind the scenes, they may be dealing with recycled leads—contacts who have already been bombarded by calls from dozens of other salespeople, including the very same company. Despite these stacked odds, when performance isn’t met, the blame shifts squarely to the individual.

The Hidden Truth Behind Recycled Calls

In the sales industry, recycled calls are a common practice. Leads that don’t convert or seem uninterested are placed back into the system, sometimes hundreds of times, for different agents to try and sell to them. What the company doesn’t reveal is that these prospects are likely burned out from constant outreach, leaving them immune to your pitch, no matter how perfect it is.

This is gaslighting at its finest. You’re made to believe you’re the problem, even though the issue lies with the quality of the leads themselves.

Gaslighting and Its Impact on Sales Professionals

Gaslighting in the sales environment creates an atmosphere where you doubt your own abilities, despite doing everything right. You’re often told:

  • “You’re not trying hard enough.”
  • “You’re losing the sale because you’re not closing properly.”
  • “You need to work longer hours and improve your technique.”

But the reality is that the system is rigged against you. When you’re forced to call recycled leads who have already been contacted by hundreds of agents, it’s a recipe for frustration. But because you’re measured purely by the number of conversions, it leads to constant write-ups, warnings, and threats of job loss.

Real-Life Examples of Gaslighting in Sales

  1. The Recycled Lead: Jessica worked at a call center for a financial company. She made hundreds of calls daily, only to be told her numbers weren’t good enough. What she didn’t know was that the leads she was calling were recycled—contacts who had been contacted by the same company over and over again. She felt like a failure when prospects didn’t respond to her calls, yet no one told her the truth: the customers were fed up with being called constantly.
  2. The Unfair Write-Up: Chris was a top-performing sales agent at a tech company. One month, his numbers tanked despite his usual hard work. He was called into the office and reprimanded for costing the company money. When Chris inquired about the quality of his leads, the management dismissed his concerns, claiming that the failure was his. What they didn’t tell him was that the leads he was given had been recycled multiple times across several sales teams.

How It Affects You

This cycle of gaslighting doesn’t just harm your career—it damages your mental health. You begin to question your abilities, lose confidence, and dread the thought of picking up the phone. But all the while, you’re simply being set up to fail by a broken system.

Your morale takes a hit, your passion for the job fades, and eventually, the stress leads to burnout. Meanwhile, the company is raking in profits, exploiting your efforts without giving you the tools to succeed.

The Threats of Job Insecurity

As if the constant pressure to perform isn’t enough, salespeople are often threatened with termination when they don’t meet their quotas, even though they’re being set up for failure with unqualified leads. Threatening job loss can also serve as a form of control, pushing agents to work harder for longer hours, even when the odds are stacked against them.

Salespeople, especially those working on commission or with performance targets, are faced with the constant fear of being fired. This only adds to the toxic cycle and often leads to even worse mental health outcomes, including anxiety and depression.

How to Protect Yourself

  1. Recognize the Pattern: If you’re working with recycled leads or a broken system, it’s essential to recognize that the issue isn’t with you, it’s with the system itself.
  2. Keep Track of Your Numbers: Document every lead, every call, and every interaction. When you’re called into an office for poor performance, you’ll have concrete evidence to show that the issue isn’t your work ethic, but the leads you’re being given.
  3. Set Boundaries: Don’t let the constant pressure to perform take a toll on your health. Work hard, but know when to step back and take care of yourself.
  4. Speak Up: If you feel like you’re being unfairly treated, it may be time to raise your concerns. Talk to your manager about the quality of the leads and request more support.

A Short Story: The Realization of Sarah

Sarah was new to the world of sales. She worked tirelessly at a telecommunications company, dialing hundreds of numbers every day. Despite her best efforts, her sales numbers never seemed to match the expectations set by her manager.

One day, after receiving a write-up for failing to make enough sales, Sarah decided to speak up. She asked for a meeting with her supervisor to discuss the issue. To her surprise, the supervisor admitted that the leads she was calling were recycled—customers who had already been called by dozens of other agents.

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” Sarah asked, feeling a sense of relief mixed with anger.

“Because it’s not our problem,” the supervisor replied dismissively. “You just need to make the sale.”

Despite being threatened with termination if her numbers didn’t improve, Sarah realized that the real issue wasn’t her ability to sell—it was the unfair system. She began to document her calls and realized that she wasn’t alone in this cycle of gaslighting. Her fellow agents were facing the same challenge. Together, they started pushing back, asking for new, qualified leads.

It didn’t happen overnight, but Sarah soon found a new company where she was treated fairly—and her sales numbers soared, proving what she had always known: the problem was never with her.

Conclusion: Don’t Let the System Gaslight You

Being in sales can be tough, but it’s even harder when you’re gaslit and manipulated into thinking you’re the one failing. If you find yourself stuck in a cycle of recycled leads and constant write-ups, it’s time to recognize the problem is bigger than you. Stand up for yourself, document your progress, and don’t let companies use you as a scapegoat for their broken systems.

Remember, you deserve more than just being a pawn in a game designed for you to lose.

Love in the Digital Age: Finding Connection in a Wired World

Leave a reply

They say love can be found in the most unexpected places. In the past, it was a glance across a crowded room or a serendipitous meeting at a corner café. Today? It’s often a message popping up on your phone or the face you can’t stop staring at on a glowing screen. Welcome to the age of digital love—where algorithms and technology don’t just shape our lives, they help us find our hearts’ desire.

We live in a world where a swipe right could lead to a left-turn down the road of romance, where love letters have been replaced by emojis, and a video call can spark the kind of chemistry that once required candlelight. It’s a different kind of magic, but magic nonetheless.

The Allure of Digital Love

Have you ever found yourself mesmerized by the way someone’s words seem to leap off the screen, as if they were written just for you? Or caught yourself smiling at a silly GIF they sent, wondering how they knew exactly what to say to make your day better? That’s digital love—a connection forged through glowing pixels and invisible signals.

Sure, it lacks the tactile warmth of a hand to hold, but it has its own charm. It’s the late-night messages that feel like whispered secrets. It’s the shared playlists that become your soundtrack. It’s knowing that even miles apart, someone is thinking of you and letting you know with a simple ping.

Modern Romance Meets Technology

Gone are the days of elaborate strategies to meet “the one.” Thanks to modern technology, you don’t need to linger awkwardly at parties or wait for a friend’s introduction. Instead, you have the world at your fingertips. Literally.

Apps and social platforms aren’t just tools—they’re modern-day matchmakers. They bring together people who might never have crossed paths otherwise, creating connections that feel like fate wrapped in a Wi-Fi signal.

And let’s be honest: there’s something thrilling about the mystery of it all. Is that profile picture really them? Are they as charming in real life as they are in texts? The anticipation builds until that first face-to-face meeting, where sparks fly or fizzle—and either way, it’s a story worth telling.

Finding the Sweet Delight

In the vast expanse of the digital world, finding someone who truly sees you, who cherishes your quirks and treasures the connection you share, feels like discovering a rare gem. It’s not just about finding someone to keep you warm at night; it’s about finding someone who lights up your days, who understands your weird sense of humor, and who can make a simple text feel like a warm embrace.

Because at its core, love—whether sparked through a screen or a serendipitous encounter—is about connection. It’s about seeing someone for who they truly are and saying, “Yes, you’re exactly what I’ve been looking for.”

Humor in the Pixels

Of course, digital love has its quirks. Who hasn’t had a conversation derailed by autocorrect? (“I meant love, not lava!”) Or dealt with the panic of accidentally liking a picture from three years ago while “casually” stalking their profile? These moments remind us that love—even in the digital age—is delightfully imperfect.

A Beautiful Connection

So, whether you’ve found your love through an app, a message board, or even a chance DM, know this: love in the digital age is just as real, just as passionate, and just as meaningful as it’s always been. It’s the modern love story—a tale of connection, vulnerability, and two hearts finding each other in a world of endless possibilities.

Because at the end of the day, whether whispered across candlelight or sent through a screen, love is love—and it’s always worth celebrating.

💌 What’s your digital love story? Share it below—I’d love to hear how modern technology brought romance into your life.

—A.L. Childers

When Best Friends Become Worst Enemies: Navigating the Pain of Betrayal

Leave a reply

There’s something special about a friendship that spans a lifetime. From the innocent days of kindergarten to the rollercoaster ride of high school, having a best friend who knows every detail of your life is priceless. You laugh together, cry together, and grow up together. But what happens when that bond is shattered by betrayal? When the person who has been by your side for years suddenly becomes someone you can’t trust?

This is the painful reality I recently experienced. My best friend, someone I’ve known since kindergarten and shared countless memories with, hurt me in a way I never saw coming. It wasn’t just a minor disagreement or a misunderstanding. It was something that cut much deeper—a betrayal that made me question everything about our friendship.

It all started when I was going through one of the most difficult times of my life. I had just lost someone incredibly close to me, and I was drowning in grief. My best friend was there for me—or at least I thought they were. But as I tried to lean on them for support, I noticed something off. They weren’t as present as I needed them to be, but I gave them the benefit of the doubt. After all, we had been through so much together.

However, things took a turn one night when they crossed a line I never thought they would. We were at a gathering, and my best friend, knowing full well the emotional state I was in, started making moves on someone they knew I wasn’t comfortable with. It wasn’t the first time they had been reckless, but this felt different. It felt intentional, like they didn’t care how their actions would affect me.

I didn’t want to make a scene, especially not during such a vulnerable time in my life. My dad always taught me to keep the peace, even when it was hard. But as the night went on, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had to stand up for myself, even if it meant confronting the person I had trusted for years.

So, I did.

It wasn’t easy, and it wasn’t pretty. I felt like I was losing more than just a friendship—I was losing a part of my identity. We had been best friends for so long that our lives were intertwined in ways I couldn’t even begin to unravel. But at that moment, I realized something: Just because someone has been in your life forever doesn’t mean they deserve to stay there.

Sometimes, people change. Sometimes, friendships that once felt unbreakable start to crack under the weight of time, life events, and emotional baggage. And sometimes, the only way to protect yourself is to let go.

It’s been a tough journey, but I’ve learned that not every best friend is meant to stay in your life forever. People come into our lives for different reasons, and while it hurts to lose someone who has been by your side for so long, it’s important to recognize when a relationship has run its course.

If you’ve ever found yourself in a similar situation, I want you to know that it’s okay to walk away. It’s okay to protect your peace, even if it means letting go of someone who was once your everything. At the end of the day, your emotional well-being is worth more than a friendship built on betrayal.

Some friendships are meant to last a lifetime, while others are lessons in disguise. And as painful as it is to accept, sometimes the people we thought were our best friends turn out to be our worst enemies.

Call to Action: If you’ve ever had to let go of a toxic friendship, share your story in the comments below. Let’s support each other through the tough times and learn how to move forward with strength and grace.