Reclaiming My Power: How I Transformed Illness into Empowerment as a Woman with Hashimoto’s, Hypothyroidism, and OCD

  From the Author

I am writing to you in hopes that I can help someone else who has experienced this sort of hell on earth. That’s the best way I can describe it. No one understands unless they have experienced it 1st hand. I’ve done an excellent job hiding my problem. Only my closest friends know, and I keep it hidden well. If people knew, they would certainly suggest that I am crazy and possibly turn me into an outcast, stone me with rocks, burn me at the stake like they did during the Salem Witch trials, or people might show up at my door and throw a white straight jacket to toss me in a padded room.

I have dreams, hopes, and desires like everyone else. I planned on having a career, raising kids, and living happily ever after, but after my twins’ birth, my life turned into a mind-blowing downward spiral. Was I crazy? I certainly felt crazy and like I couldn’t control my thoughts. Why couldn’t I control these thoughts? The what ifs? The “What if I die, who will raise my girls”? Then “Did they touch something poisonous?” Did I touch something poisonous? Are they going to die? Am I going to die?

I had ‘caught” a devastating fear of chemicals.

This has drastically changed how I went about my everyday life.

I was overwhelmed as a new mother of twins and a toddler. I had no family to help me. My husband worked a lot of hours. He did help me some with sleep when he came in from his Twelve-hour shifts. He was a hardworking, good man, but he was tired too. My break was going to the grocery store. Although exhausted, the hour break was nice while my husband watched the girls. I also ran a small cleaning business, which I enjoyed. I loved visiting people’s homes, seeing how their houses were decorated, and cleaning them. One day, my cleaning business will take off, and I, too, will have my own cleaning person. I took pride in my work and was proud to say I was a business owner.

So, the big question is, what happened to me? I can’t go into a grocery store without a panic attack unless I am with someone. I can’t go down the chemical aisle without holding someone’s arm. Even driving my car as I pass a store that I know has chemicals in it sends me into a panic attack, and my OCD starts the “what ifs.”

Why?

These are crazy, abnormal, irrational, and unnecessary thoughts of the fear of being poisoned.

I’ve had other good jobs over the years only to quit because they had any kind of chemicals that weren’t locked up. I would develop severe anxiety, and my OCD would leave me paralyzed, fearful, and wanting to flee – almost all day, every day. Fight or flight, isn’t that what they called it?

My stress tolerance was non-existent.

I lived in a constant state of panic.

 I didn’t want to leave my house, but I had to. I had to go to work. I had to fight this irrational fear and not let it win over me. I am a rational person. I would never harm myself. I want to live. I love life. So why was this happening to me? My only relief would be drinking a few beers or popping Xanax. Neither both, obviously. If I could get a doctor to prescribe me Xanax. Most of the time, they wanted to push some anti-depressant down my throat. I kept telling the doctors I was not depressed, but they insisted and pushed, and I resisted. Every fiber of my being fought to NOT take any anti-depressants. I allowed a few weeks in a moment of desperation to try a few different anti-depressants, but it made me manic and have suicidal thoughts. I look back on all the moments spent seeing behavioral specialists and several psychiatrists, hoping to find an answer. I’ve read that there is scientific evidence that, ALONG WITH MEDICATION AND COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR THERAPY, can change the chemicals in the brain and help it balance the chemicals. Still, I know that a pill isn’t a cure. It’s a band-aid to the real issue, and I want to get to the root cause. I also believe that big pharma isn’t in the business of curing us; they are in the business of making customers. 

I am a famous blogger (thehypothyroidismchick.com) and published author who has sold books across the vast globe. I love to write books, research, and blog about things. I found an article titled Streptococcus Bacteria: The Hidden Cause of Psychiatric Disorders Almost No One Considers by Dr. Mercola. He goes on to say that there is a brain-gut connection to many mental disorders, one being OCD! Psychiatric conditions such as OCD are primarily believed to result from chemical dysfunction in your brain, or in some cases, hereditary and therefore out of your control. Many fail to realize that A) your lifestyle can override genetic predispositions and B) your lifestyle can be a significant underlying cause of that chemical imbalance or dysfunction. Was I just having an abnormal immune response that triggered the start of my OCD, and did I entertain it to help develop the beast it has become? So, in layman’s terms, I have come to understand that my OCD is a psychological condition that, in some sort of way, always involves a domino effect reaction to the environment that I am in and the environment that I have created.

Is there hope for me? Did I, by chance, find the answer to my years of senseless suffering? I never had this problem before the birth of my twins. Shortly after my twins were born, I still ran my cleaning service with no issues. So, why am I plagued with it now? Why am I being tortured? Could the answer to my problem be this simple!?

Dr. Mercola goes on to say that, in an authentic sense, you have two brains: one inside your skull and one in your gut. While they may seem very different, these two organs are created out of the same type of tissue. During fetal development, one part turns into your central nervous system while the other develops into your enteric nervous system. The tenth cranial nerve that runs from your brain to your abdomen—connects these two organs. Your gut produces more of the neurotransmitter serotonin—thought to play an essential role in OCD, in addition to having a beneficial influence on your mood in general—than your brain does, so optimizing your gut flora may have tremendous benefits for your psychological health. And plenty of evidence suggests that this needs to begin from birth or even, ideally, before delivery.

Could I turn the tables back and fix my OCD by getting good gut flora? I mean, really? Could it be that simple? Like I said, I never had this problem before the birth of my twins. I had no problem being around any kind of chemicals. I never thought anything crazy. Oh, let me not fail to mention that I was also newly diagnosed with hypothyroidism.

In my research, I’ve also found that Choline is anti-dopaminergic and often makes OCD patients worse. Most OCD patients get worse if given DMAE, Choline, copper, or folic acid supplements. Choline is in Eggs, liver, and peanuts. Other significant contributors to Choline in the American diet are meat, poultry, fish, dairy foods, pasta, rice, egg-based dishes, spinach, beets, wheat, and shellfish. I’ve also learned that I have a lack of serotonin. Serotonin-boosting foods are eggs, turkey (which I can’t have, I just knew), walnuts, hickory nuts, pineapple, bananas, kiwis, plums, tomatoes, and exercise.

“Historically, mental illness has been linked with infection. When Georges Gilles de la Tourette first identified his syndrome in the 1800s, it was closely linked to rheumatic fever, caused by strep antibodies attacking the heart. Yet, as mental illness moved under the dark cloak of psychoanalysis. Let me go on to add that Psychoanalysis is Sigmund Freud’s creation. Freud was a Jewish neuropathologist who tried to set up a psychoanalytical movement with the help of non-Jewish specialists to make his orientation more reliable. Please don’t misinterpret what I am trying to say. I am not knocking Freud’s research. We all know he is The Father of Modern Psychology.

Dr. Campbell-McBride has written a book called The Gut and Psychology Syndrome. It’s an in-depth book where the author specifically focuses on people struggling with gut/brain issues like Autism, ADHD, Dyspraxia, Depression/anxiety, Schizophrenia, OCD, and even allergies. She suggests that you must heal the gut lining to start to heal the brain. In her research, she has focused on soothing and healing the gut lining with foods like bone broth and beneficial fats while boosting beneficial gut bacteria with probiotics and fermented foods. Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride created the GAPS diet. She is a neurologist and nutritional consultant from the UK. She discovered the GAPS diet while trying to treat her son’s autism. She also claims this nutritional protocol helped get him off the autism spectrum.

In 1998, a team of researchers led by Dr. Andrew Wakefield took several children with autism, did small intestine biopsies on them, and discovered abnormally wide holes in their small intestinal lining–just like the holes found in patients with celiac, ulcerative colitis, etc. Wakefield postulated that the holes in these autistic kids’ intestines allowed proteins to leak from the inside of the bowel into the bloodstream and that these foreign proteins acted like neurotoxins and interfered with neurological functioning.

What does this have to do with me and my OCD, you may ask? I believe it has everything to do with it. There is a strong correlation between them all. Based on current clinical research and studies that I’ve come across; I am convinced that considering the role of gut flora is more essential than anything else in treating the root cause of my OCD. I know that since I’ve entertained my OCD, it’s developed into a pattern and a habit. I understand that, on some level, we all exist on a broad-spectrum scale where no one is considered wholly and entirely sane. Yes, we have differences, and our personality is not wholly due to our intestinal gut flora. Some people’s personalities suck, and that’s all there is to it. No matter how much fantastic “gut flora” they may have. I also don’t believe in labels or what people may consider to be “normal,” we all walk to the beat of our own drum. I know that healing my body with food is much more appealing than allowing me to be a guinea pig to Big Pharma. I don’t care to waste any more of my time sitting in a room, on a couch, explaining random bouts of craziness to a psychiatrist or behavioral specialist, and seeing their approach to magically change my brain chemistry by talking through my feelings. I am not “knocking” their services by any means. This field is needed, and they do help people. Please don’t misconstrue what I am saying.

So, I am putting myself out here. I am not hiding my issue anymore in hopes that my journey can help someone else. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I know it won’t be boring, and I won’t stop researching until I find my answers. I already eat based on my hypothyroidism and Hashimoto’s Autoimmune disorder. I have my hypothyroid disorder and Hashimoto’s in complete control with the correct foods to eat and other hidden things in this world that affect our everyday lives.

May you go in peace,

A.L. Childers

Hey you, Beautiful:

 Let’s not forget that we are all different. Each one of us is unique and biochemically individually wired, and what works for one person may not work for another. We are incredibly complex beings, and each person should be valued independently. My reason for having a leaky gut, inflammation, and an autoimmune disorder might not be the same as yours. Each day, we encounter different things in our homes and travels. Every Cell in your body responds to the nutrients you consume, the products you put in your body, the household chemicals in the environment, and what you may purchase to clean your home. All these things have a direct impact on your hormones, and in return, your hormones have a direct impact on every major system in your body. Life isn’t a 1 size fits all solution. This book should be just one of your resources that is empowering you to try to help make sense of it all.

Xoxoxo,

A.L. Childers

Audrey Childers is an accomplished author, blogger, freelance journalist, and entrepreneur who has been writing and researching for over a decade. She is the creator and founder of Thehypothyroidismchick.com, a website that provides helpful tips for those living with hypothyroidism. Audrey loves spending time with her children and promoting optimal health and wellness for everyone. She has written several books, including A survivors cookbook guide to kicking hypothyroidism booty, Reset Your Thyroid,, The Ultimate Guide to healing hypothyroidism, and A survivors cookbook guide to kicking hypothyroidism booty: the slow cooker way All of Audrey’s books can be found on Amazon. This blog can be freely re-posted with proper attribution, author bio, and copyright statement.

Thehypothyroidismchick.com is a reliable source of health and science news relevant to our generation. They cover a wide range of stories but focus on contributing to their readers’ understanding of a complex and constantly changing field of information. They are driven by two core values: to provide accurate and informative content and to keep in mind the ultimate “smell test” – stories worth discussing with friends at a bar. At Thehypothyroidismchick.com, coverage is determined based on relevance, clinical significance, and editorial integrity. They do not prioritize commercial considerations and always clearly distinguish between factual content, commentary, and opinions to avoid misleading readers with institutional propaganda and speculation. This ensures that readers can trust the information they receive and make informed decisions about their health.

Please follow along with me on this journey of discovery as I share my brush of madness with exquisite clarity. Luckily, I was never a quick fix-it junkie where I said no to many suggestions from board-certified or certifiable doctors because I felt it in my soul that it was merely a bonafide being placed on my issues. The names of sure doctors have been changed because, frankly, I don’t want to be sued for proven the lack in their field. 

Hippocrates was right when he said: Let the food be thy medicine and thy medicine be thy food.

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The information and recipes in the blog are based on the author’s research and personal experiences. It’s for entertainment purpIt’s only. Every attempt has been made to provide accurate, up-to-date, and reliable information. No warranties of any kind are expressed or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author does not render legal, financial, medical, or professional advice. By reading this blog, the reader agrees that under no circumstance the author is not responsible for any direct or indirect loss incurred by using the information contained within this blog. Including but not limited to errors, omissions, or inaccuracies. This blog is not intended to replace what your healthcare provider has suggested.  The author is not responsible for any adverse effects or consequences from using any of the suggestions, preparations, or procedures discussed in this blog. All matters about your health should be supervised by a healthcare professional. I am not a doctor or a medical professional. This blog is designed as an educational and entertainment tool only. Please always check with your health practitioner before taking any vitamins, supplements, or herbs, as they may have side effects, especially when combined with medications, alcohol, or other vitamins or supplements.  Knowledge is power, educate yourself and find the answer to your healthcare needs. Wisdom is a beautiful thing to seek.  I hope this blog will teach and encourage you to take leaps in your life to educate yourself for a happier & healthier life. You have to take ownership of your health.

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